Monday, November 2, 2009

why won't you be my friend?


You aspire to be like him?

Why won't you be my friend?

When you needed a tissue, I was the one who helped you wipe that booger away. When you needed a pencil, I was the one who helped you do your assignment. All I want is to be your friend.

When you come to class dressing all dope, I make comments (in the lingo of your best interests) like, "Hey dude! Nice rags!" But all you do is laugh with your friends. So I bought myself some Smet too, and now I see the humour in it: you also look forward to getting egged? It certainly is fun trying to out-run other dope people holding crow bars when my new True Religions keep slipping off my backside.

When I unlocked your Facebook page, I saw in your profile that you enjoy listening to Lil Wayne. Now I'm a fan too. But how come my friend request has been blocked? Facebook: so many bugs and glitches. They should hire me to do their system software. I'll accept my request for you.

You're so funny, did you know that? I was reading some of your e-mails you send to your friend, Brandi Exxstasy. She seems like a very nice lady. Are you two going steady yet? When do you intend on bringing her to meet your parents? I want to come too - I'd be honoured to meet Augustine and Edgar.
But what I don't understand about Brandi is why you need to pay her for just having a good time? Now I understand when people say "girlfriends are expensive" haha.

I cannot wait until Christmas. I bought you something very special already. I'll give you a hint: It's an article of clothing that rhymes with Cred Dardy.

You be my Joey and I'll be your Chandler, okay?

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